Experiencing Expectations!!

EXPERIENCING EXPECTATIONS

Let me begin with a few clichés on ‘Expectations’:

'Expectations lead to Frustration' -some Hollywood bloke

'Expectation is a root cause of all Heartaches' -William Shakespeare

'Complete Acceptance and zero expectation are the Golden rules to life' -some Saint/Guru guy

'No Demands, no expectations fling is the Best type of Relationship' -my Lame friend

Well, they all say THE key to happiness is to not expect anything from anyone or anything. 

That's the funny thing about expectations, it is RIGHT THERE! Whether you know it or not, whether you want it or not, whether you 'expect' it or not! I will relate it to the constant nagging voice inside us, which we drown with a truckload of rules, logic and practicality or just maybe drown it amidst all the cacophony! 

To expect unconditional loyalty from your person, the sticking up for you in an argument by a friend, good return on investment, value for money, acknowledgement and appreciation are some of these little expectations I am referring to. Moreover, we expect too much from ourselves as well. But to expect is only Humane! It is totally all right and completely allowed.

Why is it that we are so troubled when we do not get the expected? More than the betrayal of expectations, it is the occurrence of the unexpected that bums us. We invest our time, energy in something that turns out to be totally unworthy of, happens, doesn't it? That exotic dish, just feels overpriced as it doesn't match the expectations of our taste buds. We give, give and give some more to expect that Perfect relationship only to find out that we are headed for spiltsville. We bet our money and expectations on the last over of the match, which doesn't turn out well! 

Reinforcing what I said, there is nothing wrong in keeping expectations. It is a part of us, a part of the flow of our emotions and completely natural. You don't have to go against it and force yourself to remain neutral and indifferent. It is not the 'not meeting’ of the expectations that really matters, but the way you react to it. Going beyond the 'E' word, acceptance and realism go a long way. Also, doesn't the experience that tags along, count for anything? We at least got a chance to taste that disastrous dish, so that we can highly recommend it to others! Why suffer alone? :-P Meeting the wrong person, would make us value the right one, in a much more grateful way and about the last over in the match, it’s OK to lose sometimes…When it comes to the Indian cricket team, well..  Loads of times!!

 Though we are aware of the textual negativity associated with the 'Burden of Expectations', let us not forget Great things happen in the very same way and the 'Unexpected' then is simply AWESOME!

That prejudice, which you hate, becomes your principle, which makes you who you are!

The bad hair day, makes you look gorgeous!

That one date person becomes the love of your life!

That shy sibling of yours turns out to be a dark horse, making you proud!

Once a while you get freebies, in your purchases!

The finance paper turns out to be shockingly simple!

That b*tch in your class, you hate, turns out to be your best friend!

The unexpected perks in the form of an increment, appreciation or just a pat on the back!

The interview you expect to get screwed in makes you feel proud and confident!

A great opportunity comes, knocking you off your feet, when you expect misery, in dark times!

And once a while people manage to take your breath away!! 

KEEP EXPECTING :-) 

                     My Experiments with reading.. 

  Well, they were right when they said MBA and love make you do things which you never have! This is one of those things I never thought I would do. Reading an autobiography was never on my to-do list, and specially a serious solemn type was out of question. Pardon me for the cliche, but you never learn anything new unless you do something you never have. So for our blogging assignment, I read a part of the autobiography of Mahatma Gandhi- My Experiments with Truth. I was pleasantly surprised to find out how interesting it was! There were somethings which I liked and appreciated, some things I totally detested and some things were plain ridiculous. Anyhow, this book reading assignment was one of the most interesting ones so far. I read the 3rd part of the autobiography. It describes Gandhiji's journey in South Africa, his journey back to his roots and the incidences-experiences en route. Gandhiji along with a hoard of fellow Indians to South Africa and they face racial discrimination. The thing that stroked the most about him how to maintain a cool demeanor in crisis and the ability to handle situations. He had a tremendous sense of balance and lived by the saying 'forgiveness is a virtue'. On the other hand, he seemed to be very dominating- he home schooled his children against their will, embraced celibacy irrespective of his wife's true wishes, his refusal to let the doctor start a non vegetarian diet when in ill health. He came across as a very melancholic, serious person who could never let his hair down and enjoy the moment. But, he was a fabulous leader, and leadership came to him effortlessly. He believed truth alone prevailed and that he was one headstrong person who took the bull by its horns, without running away. This is very evident with his stint with the whites at Natal. There are a lot of references of legends like Phirozshah Mehta, Gokhale, Annie Besant. He seemed to have a very good PR and social skills. Another very remarkable thing about him which comes across very strongly is he was as comfortable having English Tea with whites as he was with interacting with Indian peasants. He was a leader of the masses and the classes both. In the later half of the section, Gandhiji recalls his experience of becoming a Congress leader in South Africa, and his experience of managing public funds and government institutions for the first time. He seemed to worship his idols, yet stand up and speak his mind against them. His stay with Gokhale is a live example of the same. I remember his lesson on 'Svavalambhan/Self Help' vividly about him doing his own laundry and haircut as we had a chapter on the same back in school. This section is a very small part of his life, but his thoughts and ideas strikes you hard as intense, extremist and sometimes cynical. I am now all grabs for reading the entire book! Everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Stefen Covey talk about Gandhiji! Lets see how he influences me! 

Shor Shaadi and more! :P

                                       Shor, shaadi and more: D

Guess whoz back? Back on public demand? Feels good to blog again. Weekends are probably the most guilt free days of wasting time, officially! I was thinking of a topic to blog, then suddenly saw a glittering, colorful envelop fall from the “Raddhi stand” with religious symbols prominently engraved on it, not to mention “A single grain of rice and ‘halad kumkum’ impregnated on the top “Shree”wala line. Aaaaannddd Bam! I finally got a topic to blabber about. For all reasons, seasons and lifetime: Marriages! The big fat Indian wedding! 

 Anways, coming back, the wedding card, and colored off white with a typical silver embroidery type lining had Lord Ganesha, adorning a Golden dhoti. The next page had the Dulha dulhan Doli type sketch with some prayer. The page that followed had a typical, ‘To Whomsoever it may concern” type feel to it, followed by greetings, a formal invitation and a list of family members with their individual relations and the youngest member with his/her pet name  (aamchi Sonu) type in round brackets. I would recommend a family tree diagram, much lighter! There was also a namesake “PS” type note in the end stating that the blessings and wishes of the invitees are the most valued gifts ever! NONSENSE! I wonder why anyone would reject free gifts, that too on your wedding day. (NB: take a hint. I make no bones about admitting it that gifts are very much welcome in my wedding).  Wishes and blessing sure have their place, but gifts are gifts!

“The big bang theory” of weddings, or rather Indian weddings specifically is simple: The bigger the better!  Weddings are more of a social responsibility, a grand party where practically everyone is glitterati and of course not only give women a reason to shop and gossip but also provide men, an ‘innocent’ reason to appreciate the many bevy of traditionally clad beauties! Weddings are of prime importance in real and ‘reel’ life providing a fodder for television soaps. Those episodes go on for months together with its loyalists following every single episode from the engagement to the bidaai, with the same enthusiasm. How could I forget, reality shows like “Ratan ka Rishta”, “Rakhi ka Swayamwar” and “Rahul Dulhaniya le jaega” anyways those people and reality shows are a different topic all together. Shaadis are a money minting business, mainly for wedding planners. Like that dialogue in Band Baja Baarat, (I so love that movie), “Inflation ho ya Recession, shaadiya toh hoti rahengi”

Weddings are incomplete without bollywood or rather bollywood is incomplete without weddings. At least 7 in 10 bollywood movies have a lavish wedding sequence, with everybody from the dadaji to ramu kaka dancing away to glory. The heroine has her own girl’s gang, who dance behind her, fuss about her clothes, makeup and wail with her in the end, after hiding the dulha’s shoes. The venue in each of these movies is the size of a palace, with each and every nook and corner emitting multicolored lights, those huge staircases (in-house) decorated with multiple flowers of various botanical families. It’s at these wedding where; cupid often strikes and there begins another love story. The baratis groove to the dhol, followed by a 5 minute long song in which each and every participant (visible onscreen) in multicolored clothes dances energetically in the periphery.  The bridge and the groom of course at their romantic best, croon lines such as, ‘”ab tu meri gayi and yeh bandhan”. The 7 feras and the dramatical filing of ‘maang mein sindoor’ are an integral part of the song. The song typically ends with the dull, monotonous bagpipe like shehnai and the bidaai tunes with the actresses’ mother melodramatically singing in a high pitch voice something about her bitiyaan going, followed by the respectful touching of feet. Probably all colors, energy, dance and music equivalent to all Indian festivals are seen in a single Bollywood wedding!

       The other day, I’d gone with my parents to the wedding ceremony of somebody I didn’t even know the name of. I couldn’t help but pity the “made for each other” couple fake smiling and nodding to the wave of guests. I craned my neck to look at the food counter (my sole purpose of attendance) and diverted my eyes back to the huge, serpentine line of “well wishers” waiting to be clicked with the couple and prove that their presence wasn’t only for the free food: D Weddings have a typical scenario in which women from all age groups take this opportunity to wear those traditional rich dresses meant for special occasions; adorn matching jewellery and carry that “trademark, for special occasions Clutch”. I can vouch for the fact that we, women steal glances to the next women and compare and contrast everything from sarees to lipstick shades. Aunts usually mentally debate whether the saree is an authentic Kanjeervaram, sasta silk or the latest backless designer wear. Men are all decked up, ‘suit and boot types’ beleaguering the already flustered groom.  It is all good fun, though!

  Recently some of my very close friends’ n relatives got hitched! My already married friend very exasperatedly claimed, “Marriages can be superb fun, as long as you are not the one getting married”. The worse thing about family weddings is that you have to interact with distant aunts and uncles who you don’t even recognize. We youngsters always have to face the surprised (????) remarks from the older generation of how fast we’ve grown and that they are waiting to see you at the aisle next (yes! I have a lot of experience and a number of references) We clicked like a thousand pictures with the couple, each followed by mix reactions of delirious exclamations or “put this one on facebook ” or “delete, I look stoned”.  I actually realized, friends of the couple are the ones who have more fun than the couple themselves. My belief in its strengthened as any comment from any guy, from the guys’ side was followed by peals of laughter from the girls. :D It was of course a good opportunity to enjoy intense eye contacts with attractive strangers. Of course, needs no telling that I thoroughly enjoyed the food, nothing like free food!

All said and done, Indians weddings totally are worth the hype and hoopla surrounding it! I personally enjoy the shor-sharaba, the show off, excitement, colors, vibrancy and of course the ultimate commitment of love J J

girls are from lala-land and guys are from gala-land

  I beamed at my computer screen, checking the almost year old mail. Yes! I have almost stopped checking my mail. Courtesy: facebook!  Anyways I couldn’t help chortling at the “HUM TUM CARTOONS”, which were a rage, few years ago! Majority of my mails read: “101 things u didn’t know about guys” or “the world’s most beautiful creation: women” n more! Coming back to the Hum Tum concept, I am pretty sure; there isn’t a single “guys’ night out” or “a girly sleepover” where there isn’t a discussion of the opposite sex!

As Shaggy wailed, “With her smile and her Style
                                    she’ll protect u like a child! O what a Woman!
                                   She’ll put a smile upon your face and

                                   And take you to a higher place,

                                      So don’t you  underestimate, STRENGHT OF A WOMAN!!”

I smiled from ear to ear, as I couldn’t think of a better topic to blah about!

                “There, there, we know all men are dogs” I said as I comforted one of my girlies as she described her last fight with her boyfriend (not to mention in those exact words In which it actually took place, along with the exact date, time and place). That’s the thing about us girls, we seem to remember intricate details of almost all events (irrespective of whether it’s important or unimportant) She also accurately described how he “checked out”  a girl in a pink t-shirt, declaring haughtily that it was gaudy and ill fitting! Anyways, as we steered back to the topic, she complained that her boyfriend had forgotten their 3month anniversary and how annoyed she was when he could crack the code of “what day it is” inspite of dropping several hints. On talking to him, he said to me “what’s the big deal about dates, Nabha? We would have had fun anyways. What difference does it make, who remembers what as long as we celebrate togetherness?” some part of me (hate to admit) I couldn’t help agreeing with him, I gave him a dressing down anyways! They say, “Girls are worried about the things guys forget and guys are worried about the things girls remember!!!”

                Guys usually have a straight, to the point approach to things. The end result matters more than the way to do it. While we contemplate and dwell on every minute detail. Yes the little things matter more to us!

               

                Girls would agree with me on this one! MULTITASKING!! Eating chips and watching sports are probably the only way in which guys multitask! “How hard is it to clean, while cooking” said mom glaring at dad, after his attempt at culinary, leaving the kitchen in a terrible mess.  I vouched for it, as she single handedly cleaned the kitchen, made salad, all this while chattering away nonstop about “office politics” on the phone.  Men say “Jack of all trades, master of none” and that “we’d rather focus on one thing, do it properly than dirty our hands at 10 things at a time” Rubbish! We can very well efficiently handle kids’ n kitchen along with careers n camaraderie’s! C’mon guys, give us some credit!

                After 15 minutes of circling around a narrow Dadar gully, dad fired mom for giving extremely vague, far from precise directions to a shop. Her explanation was as follows:  “take THIS side  (waving her hand furiously unidirectional) from THAT “peach” colored big building!” Her descriptions included weird vague hand gestures in the air, depicting directions (left and right jumbled) I later on made a mental note to explain the subtle difference between “peach”, “pink” and “skin color” to dad! We girls could enthusiastically try on 4 different shades of blue: light blue, sky blue, navy blue and blue with a tinge of green. Once my brother very innocently asked me the difference between “aqua marine color” and “sea green color”: P :P HOW NAÏVE!! A “v” neck or a round neck or a “mega sleeves “ or “cap sleeves” makes the same difference to us as the single mark deciding pass or fail. We might look FAT!! Yes, that’s our pet peeve! Shopping is meanwhile a monotonous, boring, dull, extremely tiring and not to mention expensive activity for guys! Shopping is just a way to buy clothes to cover your torso, right guys???

                I would like to bust a myth here! Based on my own experience about gossiping! Guys gossip way too much, as much as girls, more actually.  It might be unofficial, shameful to admit for guys, but they sure are a pro at it! HOW! WHEN! WHERE! Remains a mystery to me! Boy’s night outs are probably the most well kept secrets. Do you guys take an unbreakable vow (ref: Harry Potter) or something, because girls can never ever get a wind of what happens in those “guy talks”!

                How can I possibly leave out romance? Some random internet quote rightly buzzed, “Flirting is the only thing that men cannot include in their CV inspite of having a lot of experience and a number of references”. As Aamir rightly said in DCH, “aj Pooja, kal koi Duja” They are confused about their feelings, are commitment phobic, avoid “discussions”, presume and assume things!! They are blissfully unaware of the serious “thinking” that follows in a girls mind on a casual comment. We can on the other hand go on and on and on  every tiny thing, ramble the exact same dialogues of the guy, magnify a little argument to the size of a world war (yeah, we do that!! *wicked grin*), dig up issues that took place centuries ago, and of course the famous “you won’t understand how much u hurt me” dialogue!! The ultimate female fatale is TEARS of course!! Who can forget that! In cases of emergency (again a relative term), we unleash our last ultimate weapon “tears” confusing guys to the core, packing them off to a guilt trip along with accusation and sentiments for luggage. As Chandler Bing rightly said to Monica, “it’s always better to lie, than to have that complicated emotional discussion” LOL: P guys are seriously allergic to communication! “Let things take their own course or live and let live” is their funda even if they are in relationships!!! First of all they are all jumbled up with their emotions, are clueless what they actually want and lastly expect us to “understand” things! (Again an incorrect assumption) and guys call girls complicated!! YEAH RIGHT!! We are pretty much sorted out, at least relationship wise, even if we greet our girlies with a honey coated voice and a warm hug, but we won’t think twice before judging her character and clothing (yes, they pretty much count in the same category).  : P: P: d

                We might mollycoddle guys to get what we want, but we let them take over when it comes to parking cars. We can cuddle and care, but cant handle a cockroach or a lizard in the house. Yes! We do need bare brawn that time! Most of the times, math and logic take a serious turn for girls, while girls complain that “guys never feel like doing things on their own, why the hell do girls have to always spell it out?”

                Jokes apart, guys and girls complement each other. The compare and contrast situations add to the mystery, fun and there’s always something more to discover about “each other”. Guys can be mean, stubborn and indifferent, irrespective of whether they come from Mars or Jupiter. While we can be clingy, emotional and snappy. Girls bring about stability, strength and scent (literally) into a guys life while guys make girls more independent, practical and make us think with our brains, rather than our hearts. I recently watched “pyar ka punchnama” and thoroughly enjoyed it! It’s a great movie! Don’t judge the movie by its title; it’s one of the stimulants that inspired me to pen this down!

                There are always exceptions to every situation, but girls and guys complement each other perfectly inspite of being chalk and cheese! Some of my best buddies are guys! Any ways, don’t want to get to serious. This was just a dig at the beaten topic of “boys-gals”

PS: Girls come from LALALAND and Guys come from GALALAND! JJ J

Nostalgia!! :)

Dis is my very first blog!! I have been around for a while, sneak peeked into the suddenly raining blogs all over facebook (yes, datz where I m around all the time): P

I know blogging easy though it sounds, can be quite exasperating thinking of a topic. Coz I just can’t pen down random thoughts that I get n lose, faster than the changing bfs of bollywood scarlets!!

Neways I really don’t know how well or how bad I can write... But here I m finally blogging {on public demand} lol!!

Train journeys always have some memories associated wid them, no exceptions.

Kareena kapoor might agree wid me, considering the missed train (JWM) ws the only solo hit film to her credit which took her to some places atleast: P

Like she says about Rajdhani, I’d say “pune toh mera 2^nd home hain jee” so It goes without saying datz where I have been to most since childhood. Deccan queen n Pragati are the trains I have most traveled in.

Neways coming back to memories, journeying back in pune trains years ago, the thing I most looked forward to in train travels is buying TINKLES

Those of u who dunno, it used to be a kids magazine available as a monthly, fornight edition and a digest as well. [I wonder y they call it “digests”!??!! readers digest, tinkle digest, Archie’s double digest to name a few] :O

I have literally grown up reading tinkle, considering they was hardly nething else to do in Summers dose days as I didn’t have a “cable TV” or a PC

Those characters n the illustrations fascinated me. I wud spend hours n days reading the same stories n imagining penning something someday as a tribute to my fav magazine!

It used to cost me 25 Rs for a 50 page Tinkle digest, just a lil broader dan an oxford dictionary! According to me, it was money well spend though!

There were loads of sections apart from stories like “it happened to me” the reality column where kids used to describe some weird out of the world experiences. It always ended wid proverbs like “a stitch in time saves 9” or a little guy would proudly declare how honesty proved to be the best quality! Dat was lame I used to think, as I always had a aversion to preaching! N who the hell cared about how a 10 year old from Chennai missed his bus n lost his way n how a “stranger uncle” helped him home!! Followed by some quote about being helpful. Forgive me for my hypocrisy, I had send infinite articles to “it happened to me column” but sadly “nothing great” happened to me so I never got my 10 lines of fame!! Talk about sour grapes!!!

Then, there used to be a story on “Anu Club” where a bespectacled “Anu uncle” (I still dunno the full name of dat bloke btw!!) would enlighten us about Nature and its miracles, science and technology, current affairs, recent discoveries through dull stories! Needless to say, I always skipped it! While dat was the only part of Tinkles which mom found constructive!

Those of who u ever read tinkles, mite remember Suppandi jokes!! Suppandi was a silly simpleton with a nose more pointed than Pinocchio n a protruding forehead. He worked as a servant and always took things literally!! N the fun dat followed!! I used to entertain my relatives as a 7 year old, cracking Suppandi joke, n I used to find it extremely offending if somebody didn’t laugh.

Who can forget, Shambu the Shikari (hunter), a lazy good for nothing hunter, who had a huge moustache n had his face covered wid a hunters hat! He had a nagging wife shanty ( I m sure many men wud be able to relate to it even now) He used to catch escaped leopards n snakes by chance n ppl wud shower him with praises n gifts.

Tantri the mantri who made plans to dethrone Hodja the Raja, all unsuccessful though! Kalia the crow, Kapish the monkey who could increase the length of his tail n save innocent animals from Doob Doob the crocodile n Chamatka the fox (thnx to them, Tinkle had a few grey streaks to it) lol..

Then there was Raja the detective, Ramu Shamu (annoying twins), Raji, the little girl who had a lot of nuisance value and so many others to remember!!

I used to have such a great time reading Tinkles.. I still do… the innocence, the camaraderie amongst the jungle folks, “the right things to do” , the belief that a single prayer to God would solve all your troubles is something u really miss nowadays! Magazines n Digests nowadays only enlighten us about the current political mess, how musicians crying foul to the “lifted” tunes, useless beauty tips, predictable hook ups and breakups, deaths, murders and mergers.

Tinkle always made me realize n relish the beauty in small and simple things!! It really cheers u up!!

How I wish life ws as simple as the stories in Tinkle!!

How I wish I ws a child again!! J J